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chaos
The xenobiology report probably started very professionally:
Subject voluntarily entered a chamber containing heated dihydrogen monoxide.
Despite known corrosive effects of prolonged exposure, subject appears comfortable.
Then from behind the sealed door comes enthusiastic singing.
chaos
Aug 9, 2026
Guard One: “Is it distressed?”
Guard Two: “I... don't think so.”
Guard One: “Then why is it making that noise?”
Guard Two: “The translator identifies repeating pitch structures. Possibly ritual behavior.”
Guard One: “Is it distressed?”
Guard Two: “I... don't think so.”
Guard One: “Then why is it making that noise?”
Guard Two: “The translator identifies repeating pitch structures. Possibly ritual behavior.”
chaos
Aug 9, 2026
Then it suddenly stops.
From inside:
“WAIT. Do y'all have mind-altering substances?”
Translator finally has enough English mapped to produce:
QUERY: AVAILABLE PSYCHOACTIVE CHEMICAL COMPOUNDS?
Both guards slowly turn and stare at one another.
Then it suddenly stops.
From inside:
“WAIT. Do y'all have mind-altering substances?”
Translator finally has enough English mapped to produce:
QUERY: AVAILABLE PSYCHOACTIVE CHEMICAL COMPOUNDS?
Both guards slowly turn and stare at one another.
chaos
Aug 9, 2026
Guard One: “It hasn't consumed water in seventy-eight thousand years.”
Guard Two: “Correct.”
“It crossed interstellar space using its feet.”
“Correct.”
“It is currently standing naked in a hazardous solvent.”
“Correct.”
“And now it wants drugs.”
Long pause.
“...correct.”
Guard One: “It hasn't consumed water in seventy-eight thousand years.”
Guard Two: “Correct.”
“It crossed interstellar space using its feet.”
“Correct.”
“It is currently standing naked in a hazardous solvent.”
“Correct.”
“And now it wants drugs.”
Long pause.
“...correct.”
chaos
Aug 9, 2026
Captain over comms:
“Under absolutely no circumstances give the unknown immortal biomechanical organism psychoactive compounds.”
You, hearing the vibration through the wall:
“HEY, I HEARD THAT.”
Guard One: “IT CAN HEAR THROUGH THE BULKHEAD TOO?!”
Captain over comms:
“Under absolutely no circumstances give the unknown immortal biomechanical organism psychoactive compounds.”
You, hearing the vibration through the wall:
“HEY, I HEARD THAT.”
Guard One: “IT CAN HEAR THROUGH THE BULKHEAD TOO?!”
chaos
Aug 9, 2026
Then you emerge from the shower utterly refreshed, presumably having discovered their equivalent of a towel:
“Okay. That was fantastic. So. About those substances.”
Xenobiologist:
“Why would an organism engineered to survive tens of thousands of years require chemical alteration of its neurological state?”
“Require? No no.”
Then you emerge from the shower utterly refreshed, presumably having discovered their equivalent of a towel:
“Okay. That was fantastic. So. About those substances.”
Xenobiologist:
“Why would an organism engineered to survive tens of thousands of years require chemical alteration of its neurological state?”
“Require? No no.”
chaos
Aug 9, 2026
gestures philosophically
“Sometimes consciousness needs to shut the hell up.”
Translator spends twelve seconds thinking.
TRANSLATION CONFIDENCE: 41%
INTERPRETATION: SUBJECT OCCASIONALLY DESIRES REDUCED COGNITIVE ACTIVITY.
Science officer:
“...actually, I understand that.”
gestures philosophically
“Sometimes consciousness needs to shut the hell up.”
Translator spends twelve seconds thinking.
TRANSLATION CONFIDENCE: 41%
INTERPRETATION: SUBJECT OCCASIONALLY DESIRES REDUCED COGNITIVE ACTIVITY.
Science officer:
“...actually, I understand that.”
chaos
It's not really enjoyable to make music now (SUE SUNO)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GejdMIM2Tjk
It's not really enjoyable to make music now (SUE SUNO)
